This was scratched several times all over the beach this morning, with lots of hearts, as if the sand were a replacement for the terrible cultural loss of the Trapper Keeper, what were you thinking, America? There was room in just one little corner of the sand where Jeremiah had written, "HELP!-Jeremiah". Hello young lovers, whoever you are. All my good wishes go with you tonight. I’ve been in love like you.
The shores of the big sea water are a great place for romance and its many battles, joys, and losses. Along the lakefill on campus, where the act of physical love has been consummated more than once on more than one picnic blanket, undergrads proclaim their love and the lack thereof. Will you marry me, Ana? No? That’s okay, Xanax will always give me the hug I need.
Meanwhile, nature is at the love game, too. The geese are not only back, they are already starting to homewreck, down with OPP, getting yer boyfriend-goose's digits and offering late night booty calls over by the cemetery. It's spring and the cemetery deer are getting hit on the road because all they can think about is la rutting accion, while trying to cross the street to slake their thirst. Calm yourself, nature! Think about something unsexy, like baseball, or politics, or how burrata gets made.
They look so peaceful.
PS A former student, now a power lawyer, revealed to me that just by that "Will you love me Xanax" rock, is "one of the best and most closely-guarded secret fishing spots in what has to be a 15 mile stretch of the western coast of Lake Michigan. The inside scoop here is that there is a small drainage pipe that juts out from these rocks that draws in all manner of lake fish -- and keeps them there, suspended, in some fishy stupor. the secret: there is a tiny underwater spigot from the nearby carp-filled NU pond that releases water into the lake here. if you dip a 5" senko worm into the water and let it fall to the bottom with no outside forces, you'll pull up a rock bass, drum, catfish and -- in the right weeks -- 20+ inch salmon and brown trout on almost every cast. I was reprimanded for posting this information on Chicago Anglers' web forum. but now I disclose this powerful bit of info to the world via Bouldrey's Substack."